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Fido Fires Up for Patchewollock Dog Trials

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Flow FM was pleasantly surprised to receive the following message from our furry friend, Fido.

He’s pretty excited for the Patchewollock Dog Trials and Mallee Root Festival coming up!

Hi, my name is Fido and and I’m a kelpie sheep dog. I’m very excited because I will be catching up with all my mates at the Patchewollock dog trials on Saturday 25th and Sunday 26th of March. I will be competing against dogs from all over Australia to win the coveted Victorian Yard Dog championships and bragging rights to impress the local bitches.

It’s not always like this where our owners dress up and behave in a civil manner. At home when we are working sheep we are abuse and yelled at in language I can’t repeat and threatened with shovels, sticks and even guns. We are supposed to not be upset or offended by the raving lunatic owner’s normal behaviour and then respond to his measured tones at the trials. Seriously, some of these owners need help.

I also overheard the boss talking about going to some Root Festival in Ouyen Saturday night. He’s been secretly practising throwing roots and hopes to impress the local girls with his abilities while I sit chained to the back of the ute. What a tosser. Then he will probably have too much to drink, sleep in the swag and end up at the Ouyen trots on Sunday and forget that I haven’t been fed or watered for 24 hours.

No wonder they call it a dog’s life. I just hope the owners of that attractive bitch I met from Penola last year are doing the same things and we can get off the chain Saturday night and enjoy the Mallee Root Festival too.

Cheers Fido.”